I got this idea when I was around 13 from an article about a book called “Froth on the Cappuccino” (which I haven’t come across yet, but probably would read if I did), and I also saw the concept of it in a comedy called “Wedding Daze” where the main character’s Dad, who is in prison, writes in his ‘gratitude journal‘ – which is written on toilet paper – every day.. [It’s kind of hard to explain the concept of the plot but the film is hilarious! My recommendation is to just watch it.]

I can’t remember exactly what the article said, but there are also lots of studies that say you feel better if you reflect on good things which happened that day before you go to sleep. As a result, I started my “Grateful Book” in a notebook with unlined pages which my best friend from home had sent me in a surprise parcel (Item 1 in the book!). This is now full and I have moved on to an extended version the same friend gave me, which also included happiest memories and people in my life I’m grateful for.

The ideal number is apparently 3+, and I think I usually manage that, sometimes more, and a minimum of 2, even if one of them is ‘It was sunny’ (this sometimes makes me even happier than I already am, or just generally happy, or is sometimes ‘better than nothing’, but who doesn’t like sunshine really, so it goes in. As do pretty blue skies, crisp autumn days with colourful leaves, frosty but bright days, fluffy clouds and lots of stars when the mood strikes me and I take great delight in them. I have become very British in my frequent observations of weather I guess.)
Other common topics include food (do you ever get when something just tastes so amazing that you have to savour it? Yum!), fencing 🙂 , work/uni, meeting friends or new people, good books or nice films, interesting websites, ideas and outings, something pretty, an enjoyable conversation, cute animals..you name it really. I’m not saying it’s always EASY to find something, but there’s always something, even if that has to be a reminder to self – at least I have food and a roof over my head. [My Ungrateful book – more about that later – actually has a list of things I take for granted but shouldn’t. I don’t have it on me at the moment since I’m at home, and it is cheesy/Pollyanna-ish, but sometimes you need to be reminded about these things so I will publish it at some stage.]

I’m generally a strange mixture of optimism and cynicism, but deep down optimism is usually the winner. (Like, even when I try to prepare myself for the worst, it always turns out that I was still expecting a positive outcome to happen somehow). I prefer to look for silver linings, and I do believe that stuff happens for a reason – it may not seem like it at the time sometimes, but some good things can and do and will come out of pretty much any situations, even if it is just a greater appreciation of something you had and lost, or learning from mistakes, or being closer to someone as a result of a shared hardship.
For example, I didn’t get the offer for Lancaster University that I had hoped for, but as a result I went to Strathclyde, met all these lovely people, started fencing, got my job, was able to be closer to my family and find our pretty flat etc. etc.
Also, when my Mum had some health problems in the summer after my 1st Year at uni, even though it was horrible and of course I would have preferred that it had never happened, it brought us closer together as a family and also provided a bit of a wake up call – for me anyway – to keep appreciating every small thing.

I’m not saying that applies to every single situation in life or the world – it’s hard to ever see the positive sides of wars and disasters after all – but it works for me as a way of looking at things. Also, and again I obviously think it would have been nicer if it had never happened and all, and am in no way justifying it, but even wars – while primarily showcasing the truly awful parts of humanity – can bring people together and result in amazing bravery and generosity on the part of some people. Just think about all the countless stories of soldiers helping each other in the trenches in WWI, and all those people who were members of the resistance, or sheltered people, or helped in any way they could in WWII, and this is still happening today, even if it isn’t reported as much. Or during natural disasters, when people who have lost just as much themselves still share with others and you see the good side of many people that may have been brought to the foreground because of these situations. Another example is people who still had electricity/hot water etc. after a storm or hurricane, and offered it for free so that others could charge their phones and contact loved ones, or finally rid themselves of several days’ worth of mud or dust.

Some people judge others for trying to mainly focus on the good in people, but in my opinion where would we be if no one did that?
(Sorry for the slight detour here, but it sort of comes under the general theme of appreciating things and it is a big part of what I believe, not to mention something I need to remind myself about regularly too!)

The ‘Ungrateful’ Book:

I started this once when I was really upset about something and struggling to see the good side of anything. The idea was that it apparently actually helps to write down what is worrying you (I always thought that would just reinforce it/remind you more, but it turns out that the act of physically writing it down helps to sort of file it away, since it is now on paper and you don’t have to keep it stored in your brain.) I have actually only properly used it on two occasions, because I guess I subconsciously still don’t quite believe the theory and feel plain ungrateful to be writing down my whinings, so if I do add something to it that means it’s really serious and bothering me a lot. As I mentioned earlier though, it also has a list of things I usually take for granted and shouldn’t, such as a roof over my head, food, the chance to study and so on.

My Jar of ♥s:

This ties in with the ‘happy memories’/favourite  and cherished moments/important people/things I’m so thankful for section I now have at the back of my Grateful Book. It is a mason jar from Ikea, filled with sayings I like and my happiest memories, written on cut out paper hearts in colourful pen. It also has the occasional ticket stub or just something that reminds me of a particularly nice time. The idea came from a blog I think, where the girl used it for quotes she liked, and the name came from the song (although the song isn’t as happy, of course. But I still like it.)

Pinterest/Sayings etc.:

I recently discovered that Pinterest isn’t just filled with recipes and home décor, but also has so so many funny and inspiring and thought provoking sayings and quotes .

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Some other examples of nice people and nice experiences:

I was shopping the other day and had only intended to go in for about 3 items (herbs and butternut squash), so decided not to take a basket. Of course I then proceeded to remember or see several other bulky items I needed, and I ended up temporarily putting everything down on one of the freezer lids while I fetched the butternut. A 15 year old boy who was shopping with his dad saw me attempt to pick everything up and get it to the checkout (only about 10 metres away, but still) without dropping it, and offered to help me carry it. He then wished me a Merry Christmas and went back to his dad. A) faith in human nature in general restored B) aw, maybe some parents do actually still teach their kids to be nice and helpful citizens!

Chairoplanes- they produce an indescribable feeling of joy!